It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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