It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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